Let me start this by warning you that I am still in my season of exhaustion. And I will be venting in this post. I have had "writers block" every time I've opened my journal. Variations of woes me just bleed onto the pages like I've never been here before. And I'm stuck here right now.
How can I inspire someone when I, myself, am so uninspired?
I used to read my Bible every day. This may sound weird, but it's honest, I used to go to sleep excited to wake up and spend quiet time with the Lord. Now, I can't even pull myself out of bed before someone has a poop explosion! My coffee rarely touches my lips before 11 and my quiet time gets farther away from happening.
How could I have let things come to this? ME!? I am so in control of myself and my schedule. When did I stop letting God inspire my heart? I've just let go of everything that I am passionate about. I am drowning in my busyness. But I've become so lazy at the same time. I don't even know who I am right now or what I really want. I'm just blah. And I'm sick of it.
A recent conversation with a friend struck a cord though. Talking about a picture I took that is hanging on the wall of my bathroom. It's a favorite of mine. I have it in a floating frame paired with two verses. I snapped it in 2009 as a gift for Chad, the morning we took Shaelynn to Disneyland for her first time. When I printed it, Walgreens asked for the copyright. I had no way to prove it was mine in that moment. And I had never had an issue with One-Hour Photo before this. The only reason they gave it to me was because it happened to be Christmas eve and I was on the verge of tears. That picture is worth a thousand words to me. Not just because of the struggle it took to get it on my wall but the reason behind taking it in the first place.
Throughout my break from photography I seriously debated changing the name. A Thousand Words: It began to feel cliché and so unoriginal. But, that conversation spoke to me. It sparked a little glimmer in my heart. I decided that I won't change the name. I will get back to doing what I love and I will use my talents for the Lord like I had originally started off doing.
I LOVE photography. It is such an inspiring way to express art. It makes me happy. And I need to do it more. I need to give it back to God. So, therefore, I end this rant with the announcement that I am back in business people. In an entirely new way...stay tuned.
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
>> 2 Corinthians4:7<<
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